My sport is very important to me and although it worsens the pain, I still believe it is what keeps me going.   I am following a gym programme and am stretching as much as possible.   I know that light aerobic training is advised, but I choose to go on as normal as possible and are therefore still playing premier-league hockey and wish to play at even higher levels in the future.   I am willing to take the pain if there's really nothing else that can be done, but I'm not willing to let the disease beat me.   The fact of the matter is that my quality of life is being affected.   A big concern for me is my energy levels and if only something can be done about that, it will already make a huge difference - up to now no one has been able to help me with that.   It is frustrating to know that, doesn't matter how much I put into anything, no one, including myself, really knows what I'm capable of.

I have just returned from a three-day stay in hospital, having the commonly used infiltrations. I have spasms in almost every single muscle in my body, but it is concentrated in my back muscles. I also have "pins and needles" in my arm and leg and are sometimes covered in goosebumps, because of the pressure against the nerves caused by the spasms.   I am very happy with the doctor I am with at the moment and I realise that she's doing all she can.   Reality however, is that not much research is done here and I believe that there should be answers somewhere.   One last thing I would like to say, is that I am not suffering from any sort of depression as many fibromyalgia patients are just labelled that way.   The only times I get near to being depressed is when people advise me to slow my lifestyle down and when I realise that I am more positive about the situation than the people who are supposed to help me.

I am willing to make myself available for any research done anywhere in the world.   I am plannning on studying biochinetics next year, but if I could be admitted into a research centre anywhere, I wouldn't even think twice about putting my studies on hold for a while.   I am determined to beat this thing, to find answers and to lead a normal life!!   If you can help me in anyway, please let me know.

Thank you!!

Yours in hope